Kick my butt

I do have a self destruct button, I know what I should be doing but something inside stops me dead in my tracks. I missed swimming on Wednesday and I haven't been out walking all week, I'm finding it hard to get out of my bed every morning and I don't understand why.

Until I realised Miley Cyrus strikes again or at least her character Ronnie in the Last Song did anyway. I haven't watched the film but its been such a long time since a book was had such powers over my emotions, crying, laughing, bubbling and you guessed it eating.

I couldn't put the book down, I would lie in bed night after night until the other half turned out the light and then couldn't get out of bed the next day. The lasting effects were unbelievable, its almost as if I allowed my body to slow down and it grabbed the chance with both hands to tell me it needs a rest.

I've been eating all the wrong things again, cakes, sweeties, crisps, chips, chips, chips and more damn chips. And this reaction after I try on my dress and its perfect. Its almost as though I want to get to the day itself and prove it doesn't fit - what's that all about?

I want to look amazing, I truly want to glow but shoving grease into my mouth every two hours isn't the shine I'm really looking for. If I keep this up I'll need to be greased into the dress itself.

I love food unfortunately and to pull myself into line I made a trip to buy good ingredients for some good old fashioned cooking, stovies, meatballs, stir fries - there's plenty there but of course I trundle of to Greggs for chicken pasties and fudge doughnuts.

I'm on my way to look like a meringue on the day itself because toilet paper might be necessary to cover the parts the zip can't touch.